She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
