Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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