Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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