i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
