i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
