k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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