and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As shirtless as possible
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
