I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize