We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
