hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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