Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
