no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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