Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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