the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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