Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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