i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
