I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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