so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
