Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
