roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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