Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
