no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
