you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
