i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is wine microwaveable?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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