I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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