I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
