How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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