I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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