i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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