look no pants
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
