so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
