I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
