Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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