she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
