I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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