This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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