Say something about gay babies.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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