is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
