i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
