Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
