So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
