I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
