They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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