so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
