Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
