I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
