Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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