capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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