Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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