yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
